i just wanna make you sweat…

I wonder if Snoop has ever been to Kerala in October? If he has, it wouldn’t suprise me if it was the bits inbetween travelling from air-conned car to air-conned hotels to air conned restaurants was part of the reason he wrote ‘Sweat’. Probably not, I mean have you heard the rest of the lyrics?

Anyhow, it’s becoming an ironic anthem to all off us newbies in Kerala where the end of the monsoon rains that thunder through the night are a welcome relief to the heat and humidity of the day. We’re either soaked with sweat or soaked with rain! And to be fair it’s not even that hot yet. although come Jan, of this bunch? I’ll be the last one standing. Or maybe passed out on a couch under a fan.

So heat, rain, humidity have caused havoc with every single beauty product I brought with me. I should have guessed, I mean, I really should have. I say ‘everything’ that’s a lie, some things are still in one piece – the Ultrabland (obviously, it’s magic in a pot) and my Ogx Kuku oil are both thriving in India. the Kuku oil is anti-frizz and is providing the fine balance between my hair ending up a matted dry mess and an oil fest, keeping it from turning to fluff whilst ensuring I don’t look fresh from a dip in a deep fat fryer! YAY

Two other items which are working wonders are Lucas pawpaw ointment and John Frieda salt spray. Lucas pawpaw has entirely lost the solid consistency it has in the Uk, it’s veering on wholly liquified which is a bit of a bugger considering it’s (on my terms) not quite budget – getting the two tubes to last six months is going to be a stretch (hint hint) It literally fixes everything – it’s keeping my lips soft, my nails nice, my heels from turning to leather, it’s soothing cuts, blisters, mozzie bites, sunburn – it’s almost better than tiger balm. Almost.but not quite.

And the John Frieda salt spray? Well firstly thanks for bringing it back! I wore it first time around and have resorted to Lee Stafford in the interim, I forgot how good this shit is. It smells great, fresh, beachy and not overpowering and does what you need it to without making your hair crunch. Because crunchy hair is not cool.

So if you know what worked, what’s failed? Well everything. My Bionsen deodorant that was fine in february can’t handle the humidity and heat combined, my mattifyers (maybelline and smashbox) are just ending up in pools under my chin, my mascara melts on my face and even Avon Skin So Soft my go to insect repellent is struggling to keep the multitute of  monsoon loving bugs away. And my soap? Well that half melted in my bathroom in day one YAY! And it’s just cosmetics and toiletries, my secret stash of Percy Pigs also somewhat morphed in the heat.(I was too distraught looking at their mangled pig faces to take a picture -sorry)

Now I’m moving houses on Friday (yep I know, 4th move in 8 weeks? Bring it on. Luckily I have far less stuff – however I also have to move our ‘office’ which is not exactly minimal. We’re getting busier so our property needs are growing rapidly. We finally secured this second property earlier today, however need two more for the new year! Eeek Back to my point, I am PRAYING, literally every time I walk past the temple at the bottom of the road, that the new house is cooler. I hope so, although given the amount of horrific decorative ornaments I’m not sure it will be. Luckily there is aircon. And a roof terrace so if in doubt i’ll say f**k you to the heat and sunbathe. And sweat. Alot,

So googling Snoop led me to Drop it like it’s hot featuring Pharrell and reminded me of N.E.R.D and this insanely brilliant song that was the soundtrack to 2001, right?…. I heart Pharrell…he’s so good, maybe I need another post that’s just him? Or just Pharrell Friday?



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