So three days back in the uk and my new recovery detox has turned into coffee coffee coffee within less than 24 hours. A minor slip up. The juicer is still there and the celery is in the fridge. No worries, no worries.
I made a decision before I came back not to rush headfirst into a job just for the sake of cash, I think i may have mentioned this a few times already, so in the meanwhile I am hiding out in the spare room at my Mum and Stepdad’s house in the middle of effing nowhere trying to avoid a grass related asthma attack, pneumonia and pressure to ‘just get a job, any job’
I’ve been looking. I started last week. I found one amazing job. I spent two days in a state of writing terror and anxiety sweats trying to write the application and tailor my CV, submitted it to received the oh so stereotypical ‘Due to the high number of applications received we will only successful applicants will be contacted’ which means I am now crossing my fingers, literally praying and manically reciting the Mata Amrtandamayi Astottara Sata Namavali, the Sri Lalilta Sahasranamavali and the Sri Mahisuraramardini Stotram in the hope that it might kick something into action and I wont just get heart palpitations of excitement when i see an email in my inbox and despair when i see it’s from etsy, amazon or pinterest. Because, you know… I can do it, I want it and I’m hoping that will bust through.
I am both surrendering to time and trying to send love to the HR department in the hope that i’ll get an interview and the job wont just go to a 21 year grad, when a 32 year old brilliant wonderwoman who would be bloody impeccable and not run off to India because she’s been there and done that already would fit in super beautifully.
I’m trying to surrender to the nagging feeling, both in me and coming very literally through the mouths of everyone around me, to not just apply for jobs. But to wait. BUT IT’S SO HARD!
And today i slipped. I emailed a recruiter at a temp agency and in an hour I was back to being completely unqualified and barely worth the minimum wage. But I didn’t cry. I cursed them (internally) and forgave them (that’s the new me) and decided I wouldn’t be doing it again anytime soon. My favourite bit was the, total dismissal of my recent voluntary work but then I guess I knew that would be the case, because……. you should only ever do anything if involves money, right?
So now I’m distracting myself. Watching all of Fresh Meat, painting my nails with several of the 28 nail varnishes I apparently own and getting lost in internet black holes and finding all of this awesome shit:
- Alexa Chung’s amazing leopard print dress
- Actual Seaweed detox bath mulch from Urban Outfitters
- True Romance necklace from LaLaLand
- The Chakra Kitchen cookbook
- Oily Leather boots from And Other Stories
- Rainbow undercut hair (just need the rainbow and i’m half there)
- Instructions on how to make amazing sparkly confetti balloons.
Oh and so so much more awesome shit. So so much more did I find that I will soon enough share with you from the dark recesses of the internet, because I have time to look. How do i make monetise this skill of getting lost in pretty shiny cutesey black holes, that is the question? Anyhow. Until I can work that one out, i’ll carry on showing you the awesomeness on here, later tonight you’ll also be getting my top ten ASOS buys, bet you’re looking forward to that!
Until then, I also found this somewhere on Pinterest. I’m trying to think positive. And right now, it works. I think. Because despite what the temp people think and the people who dismiss my CV so freely, I am pretty damn awesome and i can say that, because if I don’t think that who will. Although, awesome people still need a job. And money. Despite the money, at the moment I am still basking in my infinite glory, my amazingness as well as a shit loads of dirty washing…